


Five Times Starscream Fell Deeper Into Darkness And One Time He Got Pulled Out

by WrittenInCinnamon



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Prime
Genre: 5+1 Things, Depression, Grief/Mourning, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Presumed character death, Racism, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, will add tags as i add chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25942648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WrittenInCinnamon/pseuds/WrittenInCinnamon
Summary: 5+1 format about Starscream's fall into the pitiable state he is in during Prime and the brighter future he might be offered.
Relationships: Megatron & Starscream, Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers), Skywarp & Starscream & Thundercracker (Transformers)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 45





	1. Society

Starscream kept his wings low when he walked through any populated halls in Iacon.

It felt unnatural, fliers would probably interpret that as him feeling down, scared, or in general distress. But most grounders knew nothing of wing emoting, some even unaware it's a thing, so it wasn't a problem in a majority-grounder city.

What was a problem, was spread wings taking up too much space in narrow corridors designed by medium-sized grounders, without keeping other frametypes' comfort in mind. He knew many heavyframes hated them, too. Especially shuttles, he'd learned from his friend Skyfire, having both rather big sizes and wings.

Starscream at first didn't see the problem and walked with his wings proudly spread at 45 degree angle upwards. He was, afterall, one of the very few fliers to get into the Iacon Academy, you damn bet he should be proud of himself.

Until other bots complained about having to dodge the by-Iaconian-standard additional appendages, often proclaiming either his optics or processor must be glitched.

They eventually bullied him into keeping them down after half a vorn.

\---

Starscream burst through the door of their cramped apartment somewhere on the edges of citycenter. 

"Do we need to reinstall the doors again?" Skywarp asked without really looking away from the teleconsole, where he watched a classic, polyhexian action movie.

Thundercracker, the one who could actually read the room, turned to their trineleader instead.

"Hey Star, are you..." the words died on his intake when he saw the multiple scrapes almost everywhere on the mech's body, some even leaking energon.

He shot up, which got the purple-black seeker to look up as well.

"Woah!" he exclaimed and stood up as well. "You look like scrap, Screamer!"

They both expected Starscream to throw his usual snark in response, something along the lines of 'Primus, really, Skywarp? I did not notice!'. However the silent, dejected look he gave them both instead injected more hurt into their sparks that Starscream's comments ever could.

Thundercracker, the most mature of the three, put his servo on the trineleader's wing and gently asked "What happened?"

"I... some sudden sound scared me and my wings shot up in surprise." he quietly said.

Skywarp gave a confused look, while Thundercracker made a soft 'go on' gesture.

"And it, ah, bumped into that one heavyframe femme, splashing the energon cube she was holding over her apparently new polish." he continued, not meeting their optics. At this point, Thundercracker had a pretty strong guess where this was going.

"A-and I heard her say to her future sparkmate that 'that seeker slug threw energon on me'..." he trailed off for a moment.

"Give me the address," Skywarp suddenly exclaimed. "I will beat the mech to scrap for wretching you over something so fragging miniscule." he growled and then added "Noone will insult my trinemates besides me. And certainly noone will scrap them without extinguishing my Primus-foresaken spark first!"

As Thundercracker panickedly tried to talk the other seeker out of warping to and fighting a heavyframe, Starscream simply stared on.

Yeah, it's nice his trinemates care about him getting hurt, but... what can they do? If Skywarp were to go there and say what he thinks, he'd play right into the mindless war-machine stereotype. If he stays silent, nothing will change. 

They're... powerless.

He will just have to... drift through the 3 vorns remaining of education, before he could just spend days in lab with Skyfire, without a care in the world. And buy his trinemates a less scrappy apartment. Pit, maybe all four of them could move back to Vos? 

Yes, yes, he'll do that. Just keep down, don't engage with strangers unless absolutely necessary, and he'll outlast the issue. 

Just ignore outsiders and everything will be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is kinda short- The next one probably won't be. And will be (hopefully) much more packed with feels. But that's how these downward spirals begin - small things that eventually lead to shutting off from others, which is perfect soil for depression, unfortunately.


	2. Skyfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If pre-war SkyScream is next to sad tags, it's an unique warning in itself. Sorry not sorry.

Starscream didn't need new other mechs. 

He had his trinemates, who by nature of trinebonds would be with him for life. They separated from the AllSpsrk together and would surely as Pit stay together. He believed organic creatures would call it 'brothers'. He supposed it fit, given what Thundercracker said about the concept after studying some alien literature.

And then there was Skyfire.

The gentle shuttle could lighten him up even when he had his worse days. Just the mech's genuine smile, or his laugh, or those soft, endearing optics were enough to make him involuntarily smile.

And Skyfire was the only mech to have that effect on him. It was almost as if he was more than a friend. Like they could be conjunxes, perhaps? It certainly sounded appealing. They would live together, without issues. They would adopt a seekerling from Vector Sigma, too, and Primus, Skywarp would be a great and terrible uncle at the same time--

Was he... in love with Skyfire? As in, the way sparkmates are?

"You have a faceplate as if Primus spome straight to you." Skywarp said in a snarky tone, snapping Starscream out of his mindscape, him suddenly remembering he was supposed to watch gladiator matches with the purple seeker, as their third was unavailable, on a lecture in his art studies he recently had recently begun.

"And you were supposed to watch that low-value entertainment." Starscream shot back, just as much petty snark in his own voice.

"I was. And you were supposed to watch with me." Skywarp stated and narrowed his red optics.

Starscream audibly let air out his vents to show annoyance, but obliged, turning to the teleconsole, where a big, spiky, grey mech fought a smaller green one. 

Should be an obvious victory to the heavyframe, Starscream mused, trying to be entertained. What wretch even matched these two? Although it seemed it did its job, as Skywarp hissed excitedly as the small mech's helm was split in half just below the optic line.

The small mech rapidly leaked. But that didn't matter, as his processor was undoubtedly to longer connected to the frame.

"Do you see what they make us do?" the gladiator exclaimed. "To take his spark or give up my own! Doesn't it infuriate you? That just because he was smaller, he had to deactivate so early?" he spoke, looking at the tribunes and into the camera, too. "Don't you want to do something about this!?" he yelled.

"Yeah, sure." Starscream snorted. "Try to change your fate, dirt-licking gladiator. Good-fragging-luck."

"Primus, Screamer, don't try so much to be a pessimist." Skywarp said, giving him a look.

"I am merely a realist." the red-grey seeker snapped.

To that, his trinemate simply gave an annoyed vent as he turned back to the sourve of entertainment, currently showing as Kaonite enforcers pulled the grey gladiator out of the pit, likely to not let him say too many good points.

\---

"Star!" Skyfire called out, excitement audible in his voice.

Starscream turned around, mindful of his wings on the busy street, to see the shuttle all but running out of the academical building holding up a dataslug.

"What's this?" the seeker asked, his natural curiosuty already winning him over.

"A grant." Skyfire responded, simply, yet oozing with happiness.

"A grant?" he repeated, dumbfounded.

"For us to go on a far-space exploration project!" the bigger mech clarified, practically bouncing on his pedes.

Starscream's wings shot up, spread wide, narrowly missing a passerby, but the red-grey mech could not care less.

They got an actual, council-approved scientific project. They were real scientists, like he always dreamed.

Giddiness like he hasn't felt for vorns overcame him, grin forcing itself onto his faceplate, wings fluttering.

Skyfire seemed to share the sentiment. He looked just as excited, those blue optics full of wonder, almost like a seeker sparkling on their first flight.

Yes, the future he imagined would finally be true.

\---

They flew towards an unassuming planet on an unassuming sector of the galaxy. Not the most important project, but it was a start. And if it was impressive, who knows what more could they be granted?

Starscream circled Skyfire in a barrel roll. He hasn't felt this excited in... vorns, honestly. Probably ever since he got accepted into Iacon Academy. He remembered how he bursted into their even scrappier back then apartment, practically skipping instead of walking, after which Thundercracker proposed this requires a celebration and opened a cube of Vosian visco they bought before they moved and saved for a special occasion. He also remembered Skywarp accidentally spilled it onto the floor and they begun play-fighting over it with Starscream screeching how much of an imbecile his trinemate is, all of them knowing he hadn't meant it (in that particular instance). Good times.

"I see you're still as happy as I am." Skyfire said, the seeker knowing he's grinning, even though he doesn't technically have a face in alt-mode. He paused for a moment, but continued.

"You've been... weirdly closed off lately." he stated. "I was worried, but I'm glad you're fine afterall."

"Of course I'm fine, Sky." he said, barrel rolling once again as if it proved his point. "I am Starscream. Fastest seeker in Iacon, heck, maybe even in all of Cybertron! And a great scientist despite being brought to this world with warrior class assigned! And--"

"Ok, ok, I see your ego doesn't need inflating." the shuttle laughed.

"Hey!" the jet exclaimed, bumping his partner with his wing lightly, barely holding back laughter of his own.

A moment of silence passed between them, as they traveled through emptiness of space, before Skyfire picked up the conversation again.

"It's not like I dislike you that way though." he said. "I mean, don't get me wrong, your ego really does not need any inflating. But... it's kinda inspiring, you know? When you just believe in yourself despite all the scrap you have to face. How- how do you manage that?"

"I just recognize the truth, dear Skyfire." he responded simply. "I'm not the problem. They are. I won't let any dumbaft grounder-pounders who were luckily created with faster processors dictate my worth, alright."

The shuttle's EM field was... weird. A warm and fuzzy kind of weird. And it was damn infectious, since Starscream soon was unable to tell if the feeling was his or Skyfire's.

He didn't know why he had gotten that urge or why he acted on it, but...

"Sky..." he began, the interplanetary space somehow seeming even more quiet than usual. "I, uh, like you. Alot." he spat out. "Like, ah, more than other mechs. Almost like my trinemates." he was bordering on rambling.

"So... you mean I'm like a brother to you?" the bigger mech inquired awkwardly.

"No, like- in a different way." the seeker messily replied. Somehow, he couldn't make himself call it by its name. "I like you like, uh, like how Roadmeo likes Jetlia." he said, refering to classic literature as clarification. It was unnecessary and stupid, but saying it straight seemed to shut his voicebox.

"You... you love me as conjunx endura!?" Skyfire asked, stunned. Starscream's spark skipped a pulse when the shuttle had gone quiet. He screwed up, he was such a dumbaft, he had ruined their friendship and--

"I..." Skyfire began meekly. "I-I love you too, Star!"

The seeker was once again stunned, but this time with something else than dread - pure joy.

He transformed into his root-mode, uncaring about being cold at the moment, and wrapped his servos around Skyfire's alt-form, even though there was quite a size difference.

The shuttle changed to root-mode as well, embracing his partner back. At least now the difference was manageable.

"I know it's sudden, but..." Skyfire said awkwardly, but confidently. "when we get back on Cybertron, we should get conjunxed."

"Sure. Don't tell Thundercracker ahead of time though, he's too much of a softspark not to plan every nanoklick of it decacycles before we return." Starscream said with a small laugh, as his red optics sparkled with excitement.

"You're not making them look the best." the shuttle chuckled. He difn't have that much contact with the two seekers. Well, that would likely change soon.

"Too bad. 'Warp and TC are now your family too." Starscream stated and both their EM fields and expressions softened. They would conjunx.

They would become family.

And as they drifted through space, talking animatedly about their feelings and fantasies for the future, they were sure nothing could stop them now.

\---

Starscream was more and more sure something could, in fact, stop them.

It had been 5 Cybertronian cycles since they confessed to eachother.

It had been half a cycle since they entered their designated planet's atmosphere.

It had been a joor since the pit-spawn of a snowstorm started.

"Skyfire, this is NOT funny!" the seeker shouted into his comm.

In the back of his mind he registered a faint feeling of confusion and panic from his sparkbond. He was probably emmiting strong distress to his trinemates. He couldn't care less.

"R-respond you dumbaft!" he yelled once again.

Only the howling of the wind could be heard. The cruel, unforgiving wind Skyfire got caught in. He just... disappeared into the white snow. No signal from him for 2 klicks now. That's 2 klicks too many.

"Sky...!"

Noone showed up.

"We were supposed to get conjunxed!"

Noone responded.

"I-I love you, Sky! P-please...!"

Noone was there.

Starscream tried to yell into him comm once again, but his voicebox did not cooperate, producing only messy static. Whether it was emotion, or the wet cold, or both, the seeker did not know.

The snowstorm intensified, it was becoming harder to stay in the air. He had to do barrel rolls regularly just to get the frozen water off of his frame.

His HUD flashed him low temperature warnings, which he dismissed. He had to find his love.

An emergency shut down would soon be initiated. If he didn't start leaving the area now, he would fall down and get buried in the wet, cold ice.

But Skyfire... he could be still online, alone out there, suffering. If he lets go, he's leave him for deactivation.

If he doesn't, he will deactivate.

With one last hopeful look downward, he shot up, leaving the disgustingly wet atmosphere.

His voicebox crackled in what would equate to an organic's crying sniff.

It would be the last time he saw Skyfire, at least for many millenia to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp, two sad things done, three more to go.  
> ...What fo you mean I'm crying? I-I'm not, you are...
> 
> Yeah, actually sorry for those who came here for happy stuff. Starscream's life just... isn't happy. I swear I will make the +1 where he is happy-!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! ^^


End file.
